If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
