I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
