I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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