I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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