just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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