we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
