Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
