we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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