I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
