you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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