he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
