It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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