you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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