You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
