Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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