I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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