If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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