FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Randomize