Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
