I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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