Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
