every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
