Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
