He kissed a someone with a penis
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
