I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
