I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
