**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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