rhymes with "ouble enetration"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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