so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
