I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
