He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
