I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
