why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
