It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
