It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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