Sponge bath it is.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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