the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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