is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
