At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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