Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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