somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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