i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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