i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
