piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize