How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
