I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
