Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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