I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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