Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize