u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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