You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
