Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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