What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
