im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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