I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
