i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
