I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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