i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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