I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
