I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
