seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
