covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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