none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
