the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
