The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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