All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You can't motorboat a personality
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize