my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
