...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
