I wanna passion pit in your ass
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize