I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
