but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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