A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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