Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
