it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
