I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
