i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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