Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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