this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
