Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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